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My Bullhorn Show For The FBI

My older brother Bruce was a U.S. attorney and thus had contacts and friends in the FBI. So one day I get a call from an official there asking me to participate in the FBI golf tournament in San Diego, California, and hopefully perform a show at their dinner afterward.

I happily accepted the invitation, not only for the chance to perform for such an important government organization, but mainly to get to play golf for free at a hitherto exclusive private golf club.

The day was fun and the dinner event was held outdoors under the stars, right outside the clubhouse. But when showtime came around, the director of the event, an FBI agent, informed me that they had no microphone, and that I would have to use a bullhorn to do my show.

I always say in show business just when you think that you’ve seen it all, something happens and you realize that you indeed haven’t. But I’ve always been able to make the best out of every bizarre circumstance that I’ve faced doing shows. So I took the bullhorn, and proceeded to perform.

“Good evening,” I started ingeniously. “I hope you can all hear me okay. And if you are still eating your dinner, please drop your forks and come out with your tongues up!”

I was off and running, and I proceeded to do about 10 minutes just on having to perform with a bullhorn, after which I continued on with my act, as if it were a non-issue. Somehow I made it work, and the crowd was great. But I’m happy that it was a once-in-a-career occurrence.

And hopefully I’ll be even more prepared if I ever get asked to work the Secret Service Golf Invitational.

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